.19 . Cali<3 . Bi . Shortyyyy! .
I let them both into my world…
That I don’t feel good enough for anyone. For them. I’m not skinny enough. I’m not tall or pretty enough. I’m not as special or as happy as they perceive me to be 90% of the time. I’m never going to be what they wish or what they want me to be.
My boyfriend yelled at me and left. He said that I’m being childish and that he can’t keep telling me I’m the perfect one for him. He left me crying on my bed. Not looking back or turning around. I called him 10 times and he never answered, but he decided to text me saying, “what.” He says he wants to know what I’m feeling, and yet he doesn’t try to understand or he makes me feel stupid for feeling the way I feel and he gets mad and leaves.
My best friend listened to me cry and yell and scream everything I felt. He talked calmly to me and tried to get me to believe him that I’m beautiful to him and that the way I make him feel is more special to him than the way I look. He tried to understand how I feel. He’s in base at Virginia and sat there listening to my heart pour out to him. He doesn’t understand.. but he’s trying his best.
There’s only so much a girl can do about the way she feels. Especially one in my mental/emotional condition.
Social anxiety isn’t cool.
OCD isn’t cool.
Bipolar disorder isn’t cool.
Depression isn’t cool.
Cutting isn’t cool.
Phobias aren’t cool.
Trauma isn’t cool.
Sleep disorders aren’t cool.
Eating disorders aren’t cool.
They’re real things, they’re scary, and pretending you have them is just fucking obnoxious and an insult.
bless this post.
Word.
This.
(via paigevinson)
